Introverts may be best networkers.
They generate value instead of connection requests.
You’re anxious. Feeling out of place, overstimulated. There are groups of folks out there - talking, looking cool, having their own little party.
What the hell should you talk about with that meatball of blabbering bodies? And what for? Why you? Because those like us don’t do this much. We give up the field straightaway. Whereas it’s us who are potentially capable of bringing the most value to the table. Let’s explore that.
But first - let’s re-iterate.
Everyone’s anxious. Yeah, we’re quite stress balls most of the time. Even if our lips say otherwise. Even if everything’s looking so simple some for us.
Wanna hear a secret? Just between us.
I’m also trembling inside.
It’s just some folks still haven’t found their way. To feel comfortable enough to engage. For me, being alone helps. Accepting failures and shortcomings helps.
Although - despite this initial discomfort - I tend to adjust. Like cold showers, workouts, or professional challenges. At first, we try to find an excuse not to do it. Then, while warming up, fight with ourselves as to why not to give up. But eventually, it starts feeling pleasant. Provides you with endorphins, and reminds you why we’re doing that in the first place.
Still - why should we even bother starting?
Because we’re underrepresented.
Because our input is valuable.
Because we can help others in a way that may not be the case up to this point.
Because we bring freshness to the field, stirring the stale pot.
Because we can cultivate our passions and curate our knowledge in a new way.
Because everyone is fed up with the Golden Lips of Glengarry Glenn Ross.
Because we can be the change we want to see.
You’re valuable beyond comprehension.
In the cozy and safe space of our own room, our thoughts wander. We develop our passions without letting anyone know. Assuming no one would care. As they don’t even need to. We’re okay with ourselves.
But guess what.
We could use you.
We could use a different perspective.
And we could use some help in making the relationship game fit for all of us.
Seriously. I’ve already heard the go-getter’s perspective. Now I want to hear what’s been boiling under the hood for all those years. As that twisted image of networking, building, and utilizing connections stems from the fact there are not enough of us out there.
And we’re the ones who enjoy listening instead of talking.
We’re the ones who’d rather have one deep conversation over the whole evening than a lot of shallow ones. We don’t care about numbers.
It’s our voice that wasn’t heard much at social events. Thus, it’s fresh and engaging. Providing so much value for the others.
The secret handshake.
Just recently, I visited California for Tech Crunch Disrupt. With the guy who has wonderful (and in-depth!) insights on the current Artificial Intelligence ecosystem. Obviously, reluctant to go out and talk to random people as well. With not so fond memories of previous conferences, business events, and such. Pessimistic one may say.
By the end of the trip, I heard “That was cool, I really enjoyed talking to those people”.
What did we do? Nothing much. We prepared ourselves and embraced the cringe. (the piece on preparations will come in the upcoming weeks, stay tuned).
The one thing we’re really proud of is doubling down on the nerdy stuff only other nerds would understand. With t-shirts saying “defund vector databases”. There’s no need right now to explain it in detail. In short - the claim goes against the current mainstream narrative and was curated during long hours of research and reflection.
The result? Likeminded people approaching us straightaway. With a comfortable conversation starter topic already at hand. Just like the Freemason sign - it gets one to know one.
Those are things no salesperson could talk about. Those are things I wouldn’t even consider as a businessperson. You don’t even know how blown out I was. Watching a person I just heard complaining about networking fluently navigating the conversation, while engaging the other party.
And there was a moment of us talking. A moment of reflection.
“This doesn't feel like doing business. It feels like a play. Like us having a pleasant discussion and just exchanging thoughts. Where’s doing business in that?”
“Well, my dear, that’s doing business.”
In the end - it’s all about finding work that feels like a play.
I’m always “working.” It looks like work to others, but it feels like play to me. And that’s how I know no one can compete with me on it. Because I’m just playing, for sixteen hours a day. If others want to compete with me, they’re going to work, and they’re going to lose because they’re not going to do it for sixteen hours a day, seven days a week. - Naval Ravikant
Yet another secret, maybe?
Those with 10,000 connections on LinkedIn are not necessarily the ones with the strongest bonds. It would seem like we learned after having hundreds of friends on Facebook. But in a professional space, the numbers seem to still spark the imagination. Sure - being data/numbers-driven helps in leading the company. But come on - you truly don’t need that much.
Some time ago, I had a podcast guest appearance. Talking about networking, obviously. Back then, the host asked me off-camera “Hey man, you’re preaching the relationship building, networking, going out and meeting people. Why does your follower number on LI is so low?”.
Not gonna lie, I was quite surprised with the question. I literally forgot about this being the case. On one hand, the host had the “speed dating” perception of networking - which we sorted out by the end of the recording. On the other - it’s not like the people working with their social network make use of all connections. That may be the case in digital marketing. In my case, it’s the other way ‘round.
To be honest, most of my dealings - even if coming from all over the space - funnel down to a handful of my closest relations. Those I trust. Those I worked with. Those I have a powerful bond with.
I don’t have much mental capability to hold onto all those connections I make. It’s just that handful I’ve got enough energy to interact with. Those are not only the business partners - but friends also. And the rest are within the external circle - the go-to after the initial pool of connections is depleted of options. I don’t do business with friends. I provide them with options to grow their businesses tho.
Now coming back to those LI connections.
Tell me, my dearest. How many folks out there can you help? Even not in the business case. In general. Limited number, innit? So is being around and in contact with 20,000 individuals truly the only way to create value through relationships?
Absolutely - when we want to utilize statistics and luck. Otherwise - we may be fine crossing a different path.
A quick note as a lesson out of my practice as a sales person. Trying to sell by reaching out en masse to people not aware (or barely) of yourself holds on average 7% success rate. Up-selling or cross-selling to established contacts you already conduct business with has 60-70% success rate. Use numbers to your advantage.
Hey, I’m Michael, and I’m an introvert. After a series of social interactions, I need to close myself off the others. Just to regain strength and resolve. And then, I go out to do it again. As my network-related actions contribute to my friends’ success. In this way, I can provide them with something extra - beyond my friendship. I can create a system or intertwined relations to do good.
I network because I can do good this way.